Bonnie Blue, honest whores, the psychometric background of hidden prostitution, and the tragedy of the absence of tomorrow
First, it should be stated that prostitution is not prohibited by law and, by its nature, it is not dishonest. It is wrong and tendentious to label prostitution as something into which one inevitably “falls,” because in many cases it is a fully considered choice.
What becomes immoral is only the attempt to redefine prostitution as something other than what it actually is — whether that be an alleged freedom to live as one wishes, the fulfillment of an unusual need for variety, self-discovery, romance, love, or rock’n’roll.
In Defense of Bonnie Blue
Bonnie Blue is not merely a whore. This sentence must not be misinterpreted. She is a whore in any case — a fallen woman, unworthy, with morally significantly loosened boundaries. But she is a proud whore, and at the same time the first to admit it. She is an honest whore. In other words, within her internal hierarchy of values, honesty about her own identity ranks higher than loyalty to a single partner, marriage, or — I dare say — even a prospective family, although she herself would likely disagree with that assessment.
In any case, it is first of all possible to speak of a completely straightforwardly honest whore who earns her living as a prostitute, does not deny it, is in a certain way even proud of it, and — it must be acknowledged — has become wealthy through her whoring and has proven more successful than the vast majority of other prostitutes. She has even tentatively promised to remain an honest whore, not to make the typical “exit” in the style of God touched me, now I am a Christian and belong only to one man.
In this sense — insofar as it is at all possible within a framework that values honesty — Bonnie Blue must also be respected.
Secondly, Bonnie Blue is, of course, a social phenomenon: the transformation of third- and fourth-wave feminism into a parody of itself. This is the inevitable consequence of incessantly repeating that a woman does not need a man, that a woman can do everything, live her life “beautifully” through independence, achieve, live for herself, find herself, change the world, fight and win, be straightforward and successful on her own — without all that oppressive masculinity.
There is, in fact, nothing to argue about here. Feminism’s final, ultimate stage has, in the embodiment of Bonnie Blue, definitively won — of course not over its age-old enemy masculinity, but systemically over everything. The new order is chaos. Freedom is absolute. The embodiment of success and universal justification is an economically calculating, industrious whore.
Naturally, feminism will not take Bonnie Blue as its figurehead — nor can it, since even within its own cacophony of values there is no consensus. But Bonnie Blue’s motherhood, at the very least, could be claimed as its own.
Sugar-Daddy Prostitution — One Client, the Highest Revenue per Client
We now arrive at metapathology — that is, the pathological form of prostitution that has infiltrated our society under the encouragement of feminism: the presentation of prostitution, a phenomenon deviant by its very nature, as something other than what it actually is. Below are just a few examples of hidden prostitution.
Single-client prostitution — disguised as “oppressed romance.”
When a woman makes a substantive and principled decision to begin selling her body, she has several strategies available for achieving success in this activity. At one end of the spectrum is earning smaller amounts from many clients (classical prostitution, “happy-ending” massages, OnlyFans, etc.) or the use of men for content production (Bonnie Blue and others). At the other end of the spectrum is single-client prostitution — a transaction-based relationship in which one partner is selected to whom the service is sold, and in return sufficient economic benefits are received for it to “pay off.”
At times I have been accused of opposing the romanticization of sugar-daddy relationships, and I accept those accusations. I have been too critical. For example, a sugar-daddy relationship in which an older man — let us assume a sixty-year-old — covers the life expenses of a woman in her thirties (leasing payments, rent, other costs) and receives sexual services in return is not, in itself, something horrific or totally unromantic.
Perhaps the woman also needs a father figure — because her biological father’s role during childhood was not fulfilled in the best possible way. Perhaps other shared interests are found besides sex: cooking together or going Nordic walking. Still, in most cases this is not romance in the traditional sense. For example, the man, as the recipient of the service, does not wish to make such a relationship public, and likewise most single-client prostitutes tend to conceal their relationships. This is, in a certain sense, understandable — introducing to one’s father a man who is the same age as him would be at least strange, especially if the father holds even moderately conservative values.
As clients, such older men are stable, low-demand regulars, and if the sugar baby’s needs as a prostitute are sufficiently covered, such a relationship can continue for years.
OnlyFans Prostitution — Many Clients, Lower Revenue per Client
Several popular online platforms — above all OnlyFans — have created the opportunity for women to engage in virtual prostitution. In essence, this too represents the opposite end of the spectrum, where each client pays little, and ideally a larger total sum accumulates from volume. In its economic essence, this is the application of economies of scale to one’s own advantage.
Here as well, as with all other specific forms of prostitution, a categorical distinction must be drawn between an honest and a dishonest version. It is entirely possible to practice OnlyFans prostitution in a manner that is honest and sincere, and it is evident that precisely this authenticity is gaining popularity within the field. These are women who do not speak of some kind of “artistic eroticism in sensual lingerie” as a hobby or a special form of self-expression. These are women who state openly on every one of their social media channels: my life is transactional; at this stage I sell my body on this and that platform, and if you wish to interact with me, then pay — and everything is clear.
Such a service is typically accompanied by internal productization into different tiers for different target groups. In economic terms, this is the pure extraction of value above the intersection point of supply and demand curves — the earning of supernormal profit, as was once taught at TTÜ.
Unlike single-client sugar-daddy prostitution, where the sugar daddy gains access to the “entire menu” à la carte in exchange for regular payments, here the menu is priced according to the client’s purchasing power and specific interests. Typically, there is both mass-market, “fast-food” style offering as well as gourmet delicacies for a more demanding and financially capable clientele.
Tinder Prostitution — The Forced Pose of Short-Term Romance
One interesting specific form of prostitution can also be found in so-called Tinder romance. I remember the time when Tinder first entered the market (I am not a user myself, but I do remember that transitional period), and at least in the beginning its founders were fairly honest. Later — largely due to the work of armies of PR consultants — rhetorical beautification took place. The original message was essentially simple: all (single) men want to have sex with practically all women; women select from among them the 5–10% they themselves are willing to engage with; and the platform brings them together.
In essence, the same logic has continued to this day, although it has been heavily embellished with examples of “marriages that began on Tinder,” etc., which naturally constitute a vanishingly small fraction of emotionally anonymous sex devoid of any meaningful bonds.
Nevertheless, Tinder has become a kind of channel through which a certain subset of women periodically “fish” for a cavalier to “fall in love with,” who then provides material support and with whom the relationship usually lasts from a few weeks to a few months, more rarely beyond half a year. Symptomatic is the repeated presentation of each new man as “the love of one’s life,” the complete removal of all content related to the previous man, and the portrayal of every new relationship on social media as unconditional, sincere, and profound love — even though, in reality, this exists only at the level of pose.
I have spoken with many men who have found themselves in such Tinder-prostitution relationships, and their narratives repeat themselves almost identically. The woman is attractive, displays genuinely enamored behavior, provides abundant sex, and recognizes no taboos. After a few weeks, however, the conversation begins to shift toward fixed expenses, difficult times, and “maintenance costs” necessary to look ideal for her “prince.” After about a month, sex has become a commodity and the man a mobile ATM.
There are men whom this does not bother and who accept such a relationship for several months. But the more attractive the man himself is in terms of sexual market value, the less viable such Tinder prostitution becomes. Any sincere and independent woman who gives such a man attention without accepting benefits acts like a glass of cold water in hell — and the man detaches himself from the Tinder prostitute. A “reset” then follows on social media, and the previously paused Tinder account is reactivated.
Once again, there is nothing illegal — nor even necessarily immoral as a life choice — in this form of prostitution, so long as it does not trample the concept of sincere love that contains a transcendental element.
Reisiprostitutsioon — eksootiline elustiil, mille maksab kinni vagiina
Ka siinkohal on taas võimalik rääkida antud prostitutsiooni vormi ausast ja ebaausast versioonist. Ausa variandi puhul levivad meeste omavahelises suhtluses erineva detailsuse astmega hinnakirjad kui „menüüd“ — alates üldistest kirjeldustest, kus räägitakse lihtsalt naistest, „kellele meeldib reisida ja kes antud elufaasis arvavad, et elu on rock’n’roll“, kuni väga detailseteni, kus on kirjas isegi koos duši all käimise, keelega suudlemise ja GFE (girlfriend experience) hinnad. Samuti on eraldi välja toodud baasreisipakett ning „tasulised lisad“, nagu ka maksetingimused.
Igal juhul ei ole ka selles prostitutsiooni vormis mitte midagi iseenesest halba, kui seda tehakse ausalt. Enamasti võibki hinnakirjapõhist varianti pidada reisiprostitutsiooni kõige läbipaistvamaks vormiks.
Ausa variandi vastandiks on varjatud reisiprostitutsioon, mille eriti küüniliseks versiooniks on eksootiliste reiside ja seal kogetud mälestuste esitamine enda elustiili osana — tõestusena sellest, kui vaheldusrikka ja elamusterohke eluni võib jõuda üks „iseseisev ja majanduslikult edukas“ naine. Enamasti välistab sellise tegeliku edu juba inimese keskpärane töökus ja sageli isegi keskmisest madalam intellekt, kuid see ei takista vastavate pooside võtmist.
Inimene demonstreerib huvitavate ja poseeritud fotode ning videote kaudu oma elustiili — tantsiskledes, liikudes ja filmides (või anonüümsel kliendil ennast filmida lastes) - end motiveeriva muusika saatel, mis tavaliselt ülistab isiklikku iseseisvust ja maailma eri paikade lummust. Loomulikult maksab kogu selle elustiili kinni selliste naiste vagiina, ning tegemist on puhtakujulise reisiprostitutsiooni ja eskapismiga oma loiust tavaelust, sest säärast „tootvat tööd“ ei eksisteeri, millega inimene suudaks ise nii mahukaid reise rahastada.
Kliente enamasti sellistel videotel ega materjalides ei näidata ning „reisikontosid“ või albumeid esitletakse isikliku — ja loodetavasti teisi „inspireeriva“ — materjalina. See oleks kahtlemata inspireeriv, kui reisid maksaks kinni aju, mitte vagiina. Paraku ei saa need naised aru, millise kahju on nad endale teinud säärase sisu üles laadimisega, mille ekraanipilte mehed omavahel jagavad täpselt nagu Tinderi kasutajakontode screenshotte. Digitaalne maine ei kao ega „aegu“ — see on pöördumatu ja kumulatiivne ning liigub täpselt nende sotsiaalsete ringkondadeni, kuhu inimene ise kunagi kuuluda sooviks. Kasvõi üks kord reisiprostitutsiooni harrastanud naisel on tulevikus sisuliselt võimatu vastata küsimusele: „kes selle kinni maksis?“ Tal on kaks valikut — tunnistada end ausaks reisiprostituudiks või valetada. Mõlemad neist välistavad mistahes perspektiivi lähisuhte osas endast lugupidavate ja kõrgema turuväärtusega meestega, keda reisiprostitutsiooni harrastavad naised oma monumentaalses naiivsuses arvavad end väärivat.
Travel Prostitution — An Exotic Lifestyle Financed by the Vagina
Here as well, it is once again possible to speak of an honest and a dishonest version of this form of prostitution. In the honest version, price lists of varying levels of detail circulate in communication among men as “menus” — ranging from general descriptions that speak simply of women “who like to travel and who, at this stage of life, believe that life is rock’n’roll,” to very detailed ones that even specify prices for showering together, tongue-kissing, and GFE (girlfriend experience). A base travel package is also listed separately, along with “paid extras” and payment terms.
In any case, there is nothing inherently wrong with this form of prostitution either, if it is done honestly. In fact, the price-list-based variant can usually be considered the most transparent form of travel prostitution.
The opposite of the honest version is hidden travel prostitution, whose particularly cynical variant consists of presenting exotic trips and the memories experienced there as part of one’s lifestyle — as proof of how varied and experience-rich a life an “independent and economically successful” woman can achieve. In most cases, genuine success of this kind is already ruled out by average industriousness and often even below-average intelligence, but this does not prevent the adoption of the corresponding poses.
The individual demonstrates her lifestyle through interesting and posed photos and videos — dancing, moving, and filming herself (or allowing an anonymous client to film her) to motivational music that typically glorifies personal independence and the allure of different parts of the world. Naturally, this entire lifestyle is financed by such women’s vagina, and what we are dealing with is pure travel prostitution and escapism from a lethargic everyday life, because no such “productive work” exists through which a person could independently finance travel on this scale.
Clients are usually not shown in such videos or materials, and “travel accounts” or albums are presented as personal — and hopefully “inspiring” to others — content. This would undoubtedly be inspiring if the trips were financed by the brain, not the vagina.
Unfortunately, these women do not understand the damage they have done to themselves by uploading such content, screenshots of which men share among themselves just like screenshots of Tinder user profiles. Digital reputation does not disappear or “fade” — it is irreversible and cumulative, and it travels precisely to the social circles a person herself would one day wish to belong to.
Even a woman who has engaged in travel prostitution only once will, in the future, find it practically impossible to answer the question: “Who paid for this?” She has two options — to admit that she is an honest travel prostitute, or to lie. Both options exclude any realistic prospects for an intimate relationship with self-respecting men of higher market value, whom women engaged in travel prostitution, in their monumental naivety, believe themselves to deserve.
The Psychometric Background of Hidden Prostitution
We now approach hidden prostitution in all its aspects from a psychometric perspective — a field that is well grounded scientifically. If there is one common trait that directly increases the likelihood of drifting toward prostitution, it is most often low openness to ideas and the low intelligence that correlates with it. In this context, we are speaking primarily of hidden prostitution as a direct consequence of limited overall mental capacities. In this sense, the cliché “if the head doesn’t cut it, make the vagina ready” (and its various more colloquial formulations) is not entirely inaccurate.
If a person’s openness to ideas is low, this does not, of course, automatically mean becoming a prostitute. However, it significantly increases the risk, primarily because the individual has fewer realistic options for improving their quality of life.
A second factor that undoubtedly comes into play is average or even below-average biologically innate industriousness. The lower this is in combination with low intelligence, the greater the tendency to monetize a resource that is always available and accessible — one’s body, appearance, and vagina.
But this is certainly not all. Artistic sensibility and openness to new experiences also increase the likelihood of seeking variation, and this effect is amplified particularly strongly in the presence of high withdrawal. Unlike impulsive individuals who may, under emotional influence, enter spontaneous sexual encounters they later regret, withdrawal is a subtrait of high neuroticism that promotes not so much physical but mental closure and disengagement from one’s original goals and ambitions. In this way, a vacuum-like emptiness emerges, which prostitution readily fills.
The higher the openness to experience combined with lower intelligence and innate industriousness, the higher the neuroticism — and especially mental withdrawal — the greater the baseline predisposition. If this is further combined with above-average compassion and empathy, a likely outcome is a mix of sensitive romantic naivety and lack of viable alternatives, which romanticizes travel prostitution, single-client prostitution, or being a mistress.
Most often, this is accompanied by below-average oppositional capacity and self-assertion, as a result of which the individual simply comes to terms with the established situation and with her role as a prostitute.
The Deeper Core and Tragedy of Drifting into Prostitution
If we analyze more precisely why a woman drifts into various forms of prostitution, the primary underlying cause is most often the absence of a moral vertical and the value system that this absence enables. At this point, two different scenarios can be identified.
The first is the so-called Bonnie Blue scenario: a distorted and deviant hierarchy of values that culminates in self-interest and the capacity to monetize one’s own body. This is a morally problematic but clear and internally coherent value hierarchy, which the individual does not feel ashamed of and openly acknowledges.
In the second scenario, a stable value hierarchy is essentially absent or in a constant state of change. In such a case, a person can reshape her moral boundaries at any given moment in a way that makes prostitution always possible and situationally justifiable.
Prostitution is, by its nature, extremely sad and tragic, primarily because it entails precisely what is both feared and paradoxically drives a person toward prostitution in the first place — the absence of tomorrow. It must be understood that a person who is less open to ideas and who chooses a particular form of prostitution, subsequently justifying and romanticizing it, does not think in psychometric categories and does not engage in systematic self-analysis.
What unites such women at the experiential level, however, is one common phenomenon — the felt absence of tomorrow. This feeling can manifest in various forms, but most often it is combined with mediocre or below-average self-respect and self-love. A person does not think of herself as engaging in prostitution, for example, when she abandons her children and family and romanticizes single-client prostitution in the form of a sugar-daddy relationship, being a mistress, or an “experience-driven, inspirational” travel-prostitution lifestyle.
Most often, what is felt is only moderate or even minimal respect and love for oneself, along with a profound emptiness concerning the future. There is no inner enthusiasm that tomorrow could be better than today. And it is precisely for this reason that one reaches out for help in places where, in such an existential condition, help cannot be found — drifting into prostitution.
The Absence of Faith Leads to Loneliness and Isolation
Paradoxically, the fear of having no future and of the impossibility of genuine independence brings about precisely what is most feared. A mother who has engaged in any form of prostitution can never guide her children to behave differently through personal example — or doing so would require at least ten years of a fundamentally different, independent life. By that point, however, it is usually already difficult to reshape children, or it is simply too late.
Fear of the absence of tomorrow thus makes the arrival of a brighter tomorrow impossible, and the individual becomes trapped in the monetization of her body — hidden prostitution. What is the antidote to such hidden prostitution? Superficially, one might say a moral and value-centered life: independence, self-education, a new beginning. Yet such talk tends to sound like mocking irony rather than a real possibility to anyone who is exhausted and drifting into hidden prostitution. This situation is difficult.
Before a deeper revision of one’s value system can occur, one must begin with smaller steps — for example, refusing any form of transactional living. Contrary to many myths, evolutionary psychology has shown very clearly that men hold deep respect for women who have achieved genuine independence and do not boast about it — women who manage on their own despite life’s hardships. In truth, what distinguishes such women from those who have fallen into hidden prostitution is not the magnitude of life’s difficulties, but a moral framework that makes certain “easier” choices impossible in critical situations.
No matter how difficult the present situation may be, it is possible to endure it if there is faith in tomorrow and a conviction that tomorrow may be better than today. With that faith, it becomes possible to cope with everything. Yet this faith arises only through moral absolutes — through the understanding that, even amid hardship, choices exist, and that there are boundaries that must not be crossed.
Often — and very often — life consists of choosing between bad and very bad options. Hidden prostitution is unquestionably the worst of these, because it pushes the day from which a long journey back to a value-based life might begin — often ten years or more — so far into the future that, at the end of that road, nothing awaits but loneliness. Much like the lowest level of Hell in Dante’s Divine Comedy, where sinners were frozen in isolation, alone and cut off from others.
There is probably no better metaphor, in a metaphysical sense, for the vertical descent into Hell in earthly life than hidden prostitution.
Why does returning to a value-based life take so long? The answer is simple: the person knows that she is deceiving and desecrating herself as a prostitute. This deception is especially deep in the case of hidden prostitution — the individual constantly suppresses what she actually knows very well. She lies to herself and betrays her own self-awareness. In this form, the betrayal is unforgivable and deeply burdensome even to the person herself.
Judas knew that what he was doing was wrong. He sold his loyalty and his capacity to maintain self-respect for silver coins. Jesus knew this as well and had to allow it to happen, because the preservation of free will is a fundamental principle of any faith. A single mother or a younger woman engaged in prostitution does essentially the same — she sells respect for herself for small change and ends, existentially — though usually metaphorically — exactly like Judas.
